I think there is a unique quality among women who choose to have a home birth. They have a trust in the birth process, faith in their body's ability to give birth and the courage to face the unknown. These qualities are what makes up certainty.
Many women who share that they are intending to have a home birth with a friend or relative are often met with a response like, "wow, you're brave." Or "wow, are you sure you can do it?" Or "why?" Women who have done their research, both internally through self reflection and externally through google, have a deep knowing about their choice to have a home birth. These questions or lack of certainty from loved ones can help a woman grow in her own certainty. This is an internal process, it is where strength comes from.
But certainty can be shaken at any point along the way. The woman who walk this home birth path may face doubt, criticism, fear, anxiety, etc. that challenge their certainty. Growing in one's certainty comes with risk, and this risk looks different for everyone. The risk to challenge the status quo of the family, of a thought process, of comfort, of perceived safety, etc. Rising up the challenge of the risk is part of the journey one takes as they walk through pregnancy and birth - and motherhood.
Facing risk is part of the heroine's journey, the narrative of every epic story we know. From Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's amazing political rise, to Amelia Earhart's adventure, to Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad, giving birth is as much a part of the heroine's journey as what these ladies face/faced.
When anxiety comes calling, it is simply a lack of certainty within your own self. Its ok. The certainty grows through the process. I have yet to meet a mom who wasn't amazed and content with the confirmation of her certainty when she gives birth to her baby. But you have to walk through the journey - through the birth - to get there.
Doubt is also a teaching. It is the sign to take a pause and consider, is it time to recommit and find new courage? Or is it time to step back and find patience. Either answer can be right. If you don't know, just try one and see what happens. Patience and courage are seldom bad qualities to strengthen.
Any woman who has made an internal vow, knows what I am about to say. You can not stop the momentum of that vow. Surrender is the whole process of a vow, surrender is the whole process of birth. And that is really powerful. When a woman comes to home birth, she has made an internal vow and this makes you a powerhouse!
So if you are pregnant and feel shakey in your certainty about giving birth, breastfeeding or motherhood, I promise you. It is ok. You will grow in certainty through the process. As your certainty grows, so does your confidence, your strength and your contentment.
Peaceful birthing to you all....